When Gossip Hits Home

 Gossip is one of those sins that’s spoken about often in Scripture, and yet it seems to freely roam through churches—causing wounds that are hard to see, but deeply felt. I recently found myself preparing a training session for women leaders in our church, and the topic of gossip was one I knew needed to be addressed. What I didn’t expect was that it would hit so close to home—right in the middle of my preparation.

Someone I love became the subject of gossip. The story passed from state to state, from person to person, and eventually reached me—tainted, twisted, and tied to someone in our church. My first reaction? Righteous anger. I wanted to expose the wrong. I wanted to protect the one I love. But I also knew I needed to pause. I prayed. I sought counsel. I prayed again.

And in the quiet, the Holy Spirit spoke.

He reminded me of a few truths:

• I didn’t know the original source.

• I didn’t know the heart behind the conversation.

• I didn’t even know exactly what was said.

I was building assumptions on a final sentence that had already been filtered through multiple mouths to the one that was hurt by the gossip.

I began to see the bigger picture: this wasn’t just about a careless word. This was a spiritual attack. The enemy was at work—sowing division, stirring up offense, and trying to pit believers against one another. If I had reacted immediately, I could have caused more damage than the gossip itself—damage to a person, to my ministry, and to the unity of our church.

This wasn’t the first time I’d faced something like this. As a mother, I remember how people were quick to inform me of every misstep my boys made. Some came with pure intentions. Others came with judgment. The enemy tried to convince me I was failing—both as a parent and as a leader.

That’s why Philippians 4:8 became my anchor.

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”

‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4‬:‭8‬ ‭ESV

This is where my mind must stay.

This is how I choose peace over offense, grace over gossip, and healing over division.

Gossip may feel like a small offense, but it has deep roots. It divides relationships, damages trust, and gives the enemy a foothold. But as believers—especially those in leadership—we must approach it differently.

No, we don’t condone it.

No, we don’t ignore it.

But we do respond with prayer, wisdom, and grace.

Before you confront a situation:

• Pray.

• Seek wise counsel.

• Forgive in your heart first.

And if a conversation is needed, take someone with you as Scripture instructs. Begin with humility and grace. You might say:

“This is what I heard. I don’t know your intentions, and I don’t know how it started. But this is how it ended, and it hurt. Even innocent comments can do great harm.”

Remind them that the enemy is always looking for a foothold—but we don’t have to give it to him. The person in front of you is not your enemy. They may simply be unaware of how their words landed.

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A Prayer for Today:

Lord, help me guard my heart and my tongue. Teach me to seek truth and extend grace when gossip creeps in. Remind me that my brothers and sisters in Christ are not the enemy—even when they stumble. Give me discernment, patience, and love in my responses. May I walk in the light of Your truth, reflecting Your heart in all I say and do. Amen.